MADE OF HONOR

or “Honour” if you’re australian.

This was a mistake. But the thing was I knew that going in. I’ll blame it all on Laura who wanted to see this over Leatherheads (no matter, I’ll see that one today).

SET UP?

Tom and Hannah have been friends ever since Tom accidently “dry-humped” her at a college party (you won’t get that info in the trailer). But besides that rather intimate first meet the two developed a platonic friendship based on honesty! In the mean time Tom gets his “intimate-fix” from a barrage of girls who abide by his complex system of rules.

Hannah heads off to Scotland on business and while she is away Tom realises that Hannah is the girl for him. He plans to reveal his newly found affections when Hannah returns. But Hannah returns with a fiance!

Tom is asked to be the maid of honour! His buddies convince him its a good idea as he’s got a better chance of breaking up the wedding from the inside and here begins the trials of Patrick Dempsey as the maid of honour pursing the bride.

(that took a lot longer to explain than i expected – or than it deserves really).

 

THE CAST?

Mc Dreamy – his typecast character continues.

Michelle Monaghan – Hannah. Ever since Kiss Kiss Bang Bang I’ve loved Monaghan. She’s a breath of fresh air and she is good in this.

Kevin McKidd – the Scotsman fiance. Underwritten part – but he plays within his small confines well.

I better also mention Sydney Pollack who sadly passed away (in real life) the other week. Fantastic director, of one of my favourites actually, Sabrina. Oh! In this he plays, Tom’s serial marrying father. 

WHY SHOULD YOU SEE THIS FILM?

You probably shouldn’t.

Acting is barely on par.

Script is woeful. 

Oh, on second thoughts, girls, take your mother. If she’s anything like mine, she’ll love it and you’ll get to hang out together.

 

ANY BITS? Ummm… thunder beads??? – Could have done without that bit. Its more your M-MA romantic comedy than your PG-M rom com, if you get my drift.

THIS FILM GETS 2 GOLD STARS – they belong to Monaghan.  

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FOOL’S GOLD

posterThis was movie number two for Marita and I the other night, and after the mistake that was Jumper we thought anything would be better, we were mostly right.

THE SET UP? Benjamin is a treasure hunter married to Tess, they live in the Caribbean (Ben on their boat, Tess on her employer’s boat). Ben loves his wife, so its a shame she doesn’t feel the same way and at the beginning of the film Tess is in the process of finalising their divorce. Inevitably Ben, who has just found some information about a treasure the couple have been trying to find for almost ten years, arrives late for the court appointment so all assets are awarded to Tess. Ben sees the opportunity to win Tess back by telling her about the treasure he figures he’s almost found. Tess begrudgingly agrees to try and find it with him. What follows is a frolic around beautiful islands on Tess’ employers magnificent boat as the ex-couple try and find treasure and (you guessed it) salvage their love. They are helped and hindered by an entertaining supporting cast.

THE CAST?
Matthew McConaughey plays Benjamin. Now ladies, we all know this guy can’t act, right? He has the capacity to play about one character…the same one in every film he does. He just continues to get gigs because he’s a bit of eye candy. Well, unfortunately he was unable to even serve that measly little function in this. argh!The hair…its just ghastly – with such sleazy and trashy connotations it was impossible to develop a crush on the character (don’t deny it ladies, that’s the only reason why he’s in this). And he spends too much of the film half naked. Yes we all know he has a gorgeous fake tan and must work out whenever he’s not “preparing” for his roles to sustain THAT torso, but I just couldn’t help thinking about what Stephen Merchant said on the Ricky Gervais Show on XFM (you’ll know what I mean if you’ve heard it).
Kate Hudson plays Tess. I’d really like to give this girl some credit, but I just can’t. Like her leading man, the promise the young Hudson of Almost Famous showed was quickly squandered with a barrage of bums-on-seats, pop-corn-crazy, studio-loved-up rom coms, and now she’s a one-character actor. She is far from her best rom com effort (funnily enough also co-starring McConaughey).
Donald Sutherland plays Tess’ employer, Nigel Honeycutt (who owns the magnificent boat they go treasure hunting in). He’s a charming old English man who is looking for some spark in his dull, over-indulged life. Sutherland is rather adorable in this, and brings some class to the film. His performance is far from oscar bait, but its probably the best of the film.
Alexis Dziena plays Gemma Honeycutt, Nigel’s Paris Hiltonesque daughter who happens to be visiting her father when the treasure hunt begins. She plays a bimbo almost too convincingly. Actually, Dziena is rather good in this (not that I’ve seen her in anything else).
Other cast members include Ewen Bremner (of Death at a Funeral “Listen, Martha…”), an undervalued Ray Winstone, and Kevin Hart who plays the (rapper) villain.

the beach> WHY SHOULD YOU SEE THIS FILM? Every now and then we all need a movie night that insults our intelligence. When that night comes around, this is a good one to see.

WHO SHOULD YOU SEE IT WITH? Anyone who is the same mood as you which should preferably be the one I described above.

ANY BITS TO KNOW OF? Nothing comes to mind, but I really don’t want to dwell on this film for too much longer, so let’s just say no. For specifics see here.

THIS FILM GETS 2 GOLD STARS

P.S. I LOVE YOU

PosterPlease forgive me for even posting a review about this movie, but I saw P.S. I Love You tonight with a friend, we were both just up for something light, fluffy and most definitely corny.
Off we skipped to my work – where, if you haven’t guessed already, I see all the new movies I wanna see for free – and sat through two hours of mush.

It wasn’t that bad, or, no it was.

THE SET UP? Oddball couple – one American woman (Holly) and one Irishman (Gerry) – are happily yet “foolhardily” married. Then Gerry dies. In the weeks following the death of her husband Holly learns that Gerry left messages for her. She explores these messages over the next year with her friends. Oh! And new love interests abound…

THE CAST?
Hilary Swank is Holly. Not for want of trying, but Swank is totally unsuited as a leading lady for romantic comedy fair. Beat me with a wooden stick if you feel like it but Swank’s physical features seem too … masculine/boyish for this type of character. But you can’t blame the girl for trying to break free from the character driven roles in alternate cinema she has been fashioned with Oscars for. Actually, let’s blame her! Hilary Swank return from whence you came, (million dollar) baby!
Gerard Butler is Gerry. Similarly to Swank, Butler falls short but gives it a red hot go. He seemed a round shape for a square hole. It was almost embarrassing watching King Leonidas sleazily strutting around half naked for his wife.
The ensemble cast is rounded out with Holly’s friends played by Lisa Kudrow, Gina Gershon and James Marsters. These three are good. Kudrow, in her best film role in a long time – possibly ever, is genuinely funny.
The film also offers up two possible love interests to the audience for Holly in Harry Connick Jr. (ew) and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (much better).

The chemistry between Swank and Butler leaves much to be desired, much. It seems that for such a film that relies so heavily on the satisfaction of its female audience, the producers would try and cast a Holly and Gerry who are believable as an in love married couple.

The boys
WHY SHOULD YOU SEE IT? Most probably I would say give this one a miss. Or suggest it for your mother and her friends. The acting is well, you know. The script pretty shocking and while I would like to award it top marks for technical continuity the ending was too corny for further comment.

WHO SHOULD YOU SEE IT WITH? Anyone! For this one it really doesn’t matter. Girl friends, boy friends, parents. … its all good.

ANY BITS YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT? Some medium level making out, Gerard Butler dancing topless in braces and shorts. Hilary Swank’s acting and singing.

THIS FILM GETS 2 GOLD STARS